I’m happy that no one has ever asked my wife, “Does Jerry make you happy?” This lovely, incredible woman has gone where I wanted to go, done what I wanted to do, picked up my smelly socks and birthed our children, She makes me happy but I know I often made her unhappy.

John Maxwell admitted to more than a thousand people at his leadership seminar at Columbia International University last month that someone once asked his wife Margaret if John made her happy. As a bestselling author, John has sold more than 26 million books in 50 languages. But can he make his wife happy? What did Margaret say? No, John doesn’t make her happy. John, of course, was stunned. If he didn’t make her happy, what did he make her? Margaret said she thought the first six months they were married he was supposed to make her happy. Then she figured out she was the only person who could make her happy. Not John. Noy any one else.

John’s point was that we should not let other people affect our mood or attitude. What we do, how we feel and what we choose are up to us. It should be a great comfort to realize that we can be above the petty stuff in life. It just takes confidence and a sense of personal responsibility. He calls this “living intentionally” with passion, purpose and preparation. Too often in life we are surprised or set back by acts and motives of others that we did not anticipate or prepare for. One of the great preparers of college basketball was UCLA coach John Wooden. His teams won 10 national basketball titles. At the first practice of each season, he showed his players how to tie their shoelaces to keep them from coming undone. His teams were so well-prepared for each opponent, that he did not stride the sidelines like many coaches, shouting commands to players and yelling at officials. He sat, back, relaxed and enjoyed watching his teams perform at their best.

Through a friend, John Maxwell had a opportunity to have breakfast with this basketball legend. To prepare, John read more than two dozen books by and about John Wooden. He listed questions he wanted to ask on a yellow legal pad. He took seven pages of questions with him to the breakfast. Wooden had time to answer only a few but invited Maxwell to his home to continue the conversation. Maxwell said he left at 3 p.m. and still had not covered all of his questions. Does that inspire you to give more thought to prepare for what may come your way tomorrow? It does me, too.

John said living intentionally means thinking of “we” – not just “me.” “I won the parent lottery, he said. His parents wanted all the neighborhood kids to play at their home. They wanted to see who the kids were, how they acted and if they behaved well with others. John recommends we take a Jesus-like approach. Do good things for people who can’t do anything for you. Look for ways to add value to other’s lives and encourage them to do the same for other people.

Special offer for our readers Jerry Bellune shares inspiring stories like this in his book, “Your Life’s Great Purpose.” Chronicle readers can buy personally autographed copies of his $27 book for only $20. Call Jewel or Katie at 359-7633.