Mental Health Matters: Life balance, Part 1

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” Children are returning to school. Morning routines need to function like clockwork for everyone to get where they are going for the day. Dropping little ones off at daycare and school are prerequisites for you to be able to get to work yourself. Along with school routines, fall sports are about to start back up as well. If you have multiple children playing different sports, you just might meet yourself coming or going through your door.

I used to joke that we were going to pitch a tent near the soccer fields since we tended to be there five nights out of the week anyway! Seriously, there are some things I really miss about that time in my family’s life. Soon my grandchildren will be playing on those same fields, and I will have the chance to enjoy those experiences again!

I also, however, recall having times where I felt totally overwhelmed by the intensity of the schedule. I knew it was a stage of family life, but by gum, it was hectic. While it was exciting at times, it certainly was not well balanced. There was so much good going on, but there was no time to rest! It felt like we just bounced from one commitment to another and one day to the next with little time to catch our breath.

A healthy life balance is essential to health overall, and particularly to mental health. When our life balance becomes, well, unbalanced, we can expect some rather predictable outcomes. We can expect an increase in stress and anxiety. At the end of the day, “good” stress can be just as wearing as “bad” stress. The demands of meeting tight schedules or being on the go all of the time can lead to chronic stress. We may feel this both physically through tight muscles and body pain as well as emotionally. When this stress reaches a certain fevered pitch, it can be difficult to relax and enjoy personal time.

Remember the Beach Boys tune about going to Kokomo? There’s a line in that song about “getting there fast and then taking it slow.” I have come to believe that this simply is not how it works. Humans cannot make that kind of downshift in life’s pace to be able to turn relaxation on and off that fast. Even an extended vacation can mean that the first few days are taken up by just getting your head out of work and into your vacation.

When work takes over enough of our life, we also become vulnerable to burnout. If you are experiencing this, you will notice a certain level of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion. This is a level of exhaustion that is not fixed by a good night of sleep. In fact, burnout may mean that your sleep is interrupted as well. You may also find it difficult to find satisfaction in your accomplishments. Things that used to give you a sense of pride may begin to feel like a burden. It may become hard to motivate yourself to do things that used to be exciting and energizing.

Another symptom of an unbalanced life is an increase in depression, or low mood. When we find it hard to enjoy things that previously gave us life, we may begin to feel hopeless about the future. This can be especially true if our personal lives lack fulfillment and meaning, such as a struggling personal relationship, or difficulties meeting out financial obligations.

Sometimes chronic stress can lead to physical symptoms that we cannot ignore. Headaches can pop up or become worse than usual. We may experience sleep disturbances such as insomnia.

It is also not uncommon for people to experience heart problems because of the chronic stress associated with an unbalanced life. How does your body communicate with you about lack of balance? I know when I am not paying attention to the balance in my own life, there are certain muscles in my upper back and neck that begin to tighten and spasm. It is my body’s feedback loop to let me know something is wrong.

We are also less likely to eat a balanced diet and exercise when our life becomes unbalanced. In these cases, we feed our bodies less nutrients when we need them the most, or we find ourselves foregoing that workout that might otherwise help reduce some of the stress we are feeling. There are just only so many hours in the day, and something has to give!

Another sign that we live with too much stress is that we have apps on our phones reminding us to get up and walk around or to drink water. We lose touch with our own body’s basic needs for movement and hydration. Can you imagine your grandparent’s reactions to the idea that someday we would have a gadget reminding us to get up and walk or to take a drink of water?

Fortunately, there are some strategies to help avoid these consequences of an unbalanced life. We will explore those strategies as well as the benefits of maintaining a healthy life balance in the next installment of Mental Health Matters! With intention and mindfulness, we can create a healthier routine with benefits reaching into every corner of our lives!

Have questions you’d like to ask Shirley? Message her at oasistherapyservices@gmail.com.