Bringing up father

Dog trainers will tell you that they actually have to train the owners. The same applies to educating children. The parents are the ones in need of instruction. My entrance into parenthood started when the Lord gave me children. My dreams for them to be hard workers, productive citizens, leaders and confident, responsible adults was a large task. I didn’t want them to be spoiled, locked into thinking “everyone owes me something” and that life was all about them. I didn’t want them blaming others for what happens to them. I wanted to raise adults, not children.

I examined men and women I respected and saw a pattern. They became adults because of their character, integrity, humbleness and willingness to sacrifice for something bigger than and beyond themselves. I saw a dependence on the ways of the Lord and not an arrogant reliance on self. These men and women did what is right, despite the consequences. I listed where I wanted to see my children grow and took action. To raise responsible adults, they had to have responsibilities. Chores were assigned to help clean the kitchen, wash the dishes, do their own laundry, cook a meal or two and feed our pets. So far this has worked well. Since the oldest was in Boy Scouts, he liked starting the fire in the wood stove. When they all graduate from college and start families of their own, I will see more results of the effort to raise adults and not raise children in the Huffstetler household.

Fancy houses and cars, high paying jobs and lots of debt to sustain the world’s image of success do not measure adulthood. Integrity, honesty, character, honor and doing the right thing despite the consequences create an adult. Since most of these require a moral compass and principles only found in the Bible, knowing the Lord is part of the journey. The challenge comes because all those traits need maintenance to keep them going. Raising adults is hard but worth it. As the great basketball coach John Wooden said of his own parents, “A father and mother must be there to set an example for their children, strong and positive models of what to be and how to behave.”